Hello! I’m Carolyn, word nerd & bookworm, (so says my B.A. in English Lit), wife of 10 years, mom of 6 and 1.5 years, newly converted homeschool mom (former elementary reading, math, and spelling teacher), and Usborne Books & More enthusiast turned consultant!! This blog serves two purposes: 1) I use it to share with YOU all the ways I’ve LOVED using my UBAM books for homeschooling and 2) It helps ME remember all the ways I’ve LOVED using my UBAM books for homeschooling for when #2 is ready to start!! On this blog I intend to share with you UBAM homeschool essentials, lesson plans, teaching resources and projects I’ve created, and more! Check out my latest posts to hear what Usborne Books & More books could be most useful to you!!
After making their covenant at Beersheba, Abimelech left with Phicol, the commander of his army, and they returned home to the land of the Philistines. Then Abraham planted a tamarisk tree at Beersheba, and there he worshiped the Lord, [El-Olam].
Genesis 21:33-34
El-Olam: The Everlasting (or Eternal) God
It is one of the hardest lessons of our early lives, one I have repeated to my daughters at every broken toy, at the ending of every playdate, at the ruining of a favorite dress, at the death of a beloved dog, at the end of all the things they love that can’t go on forever: nothing lasts forever. This world was made a temporal and therefore temporary thing; all things fade, wear out, break, die.
Except.
There is one thing in this world, the only thing, we can love that will never fade, wear out, break, or die, and I tell my kids this too. The only everylasting, El-Olam, the everlasting God. The only Love we will ever have that will not end bereft.
I’m sure my kids think I’m crazy now, or dramatic, now when the world to them is so new and fresh and death is so far away it hardly seems real. But one day, perhaps they will remember. Nothing lasts forever, except.
Abraham knew this. By this part of his story, Abraham was an old, old man and had his promised son. But God had not ended there. The Lord had defended Him time and time again, including in this recent treaty of Beersheba, and granted him favor for his faith. His life was a story almost at its ending, and its “about” was growing clear: his life was a story about how who matters more than do. His faith was in Yahweh Elohim, Adonai, El Elyon, El Roi, the God he now knew by many names. The God who, throughout his whole life, never went away, but showed Himself present and active over and over again. The God who lasted though nothing else did; the everlasting God. And so he added a knew name that only a very old man can really know: El-Olam. The Everlasting God.
When Abram was ninety-nine years old, the Lord appeared to him and said, “I am El-Shaddai—‘God Almighty.’ Serve me faithfully and live a blameless life.
Genesis 17:1 (NLT)
El Shaddai: God Almighty, All-Sufficient One
This is it. The moment God makes His covenant with Abram –> Abraham. The moment a 99-year-old childless man is promised a whole nation of heirs. The promise that made his wife laugh at its absurdity, and if we’re honest would have made most of us laugh too, but God fulfilled it. Because He is El Shaddai. He named Himself the Able One – the Able-to-do-Anything Almighty One – just a moment before He promised something no one else could promise. That deserves reiteration. Before He made the one of the most unbelievable covenants in history, God first said, “I can do anything.” He said so with His Name.
Thought seed: What can only El Shaddai accomplish in your life?
Thereafter, Hagar used another name to refer to the LORD, who had spoken to her. She said, “You are [El-roi].” She also said, “Have I truly seen [El-roi]?”
Genesis 16:13
El-roi: The God Who Sees Me
Hagar was a truly pitiable creature. She was a servant, given by her mistress to her mistress’s husband as an old-fashioned surrogate, of sorts. She had no choice and no hope; no choice to love, no choice to marry, no hope for a family of her own. Once she bore Abraham’s child, no one else would dare take her. Her dreams were usurped by someone else’s.
For a moment, though, she had power; for a moment, she was the woman who conceived when her mistress could not, proof that it was Sarai’s womb and not Abraham’s seed that was the reason they had no children. Sarai would have been considered cursed; she, blessed. Did she allow that thought to take hold in her mind? Is that why Sarai complained about her to Abraham, saying she had grown haughty and rebellious toward her mistress? Perhaps; though perhaps Sarai’s own sense of failure influenced her perceptions, too. Then again, maybe not. Maybe Hagar did step out of line. But did she deserve the full vent of Sarai’s wrath that she received for it? Unlikely. The Bible does not cover up Sarai’s harshness or try to justify it; there is jealousy here, fueling this rage. Jealousy that was not in the least Hagar’s fault.
But God is far from blind. Sarai was cruel, but God was kind. It was to Hagar He came, to her He spoke, to her He promised. Though to some extent she may have brought it on herself; though she was an Egyptian; though merely a servant in the chosen house; though her son was not the promised son, it was her God saw.
Never have I ever been invisible to God. <repeat>
There has been no darkness in my life His eyes did not penetrate, not even the kind I made myself. He is El-roi. He is the God Who Sees Me.
But Abram replied, “O [Adonai], what good are all your blessings when I don’t even have a son? Since you’ve given me no children, Eliezer of Damascus, a servant in my household, will inherit all my wealth.”
Genesis 15:2
Adonai: Lord, Master
Adonai. The name used instead of the Name. Jews frequently replace the Name of God – Yahweh – with Adonai when they come to it in the Scriptures. Adonai means lord or master, a token of deference and respect. Here Abram uses them both. ❤
“You’re the Boss, God,” Abraham says, right from the start. Abram had a complaint – but first, before he made it, he made sure to declare that whatever God decided, he would abide by. This was not a petty, spoiled Abram demanding more of a God who’d poured out blessing after blessing. This was Abram asking God for the one thing that was on his heart more than any other thing: a child. It was him saying, “God, I don’t want more things. What I really want is someone to love with them.” But if God still said no – He was Boss. (But, of course, this Boss is the One who gives good things to those who ask for them!)
Food for thought: Is God the Boss of my household? Is He the Boss of my life? Do I say, when I pray, “God, You’re the Boss?” and then follow through with obedience?
And Melchizedek, the king of Salem and a priest of [El Elyon], brought Abram some bread and wine. Melchizedek blessed Abram with this blessing: “Blessed be Abram by [El Elyon], Creator of heaven and earth. And blessed be [El Elyon], who has defeated your enemies for you.”
And Abram replied to the king of Sodom, “I solemnly swear to the LORD, [El Elyon], Creator of heaven and earth, …”
Melchizedek is one of the more nebulous and fascinating characters in the Bible. He is mentioned so briefly as “the king of Salem,” and we know Salem means peace. He is “a priest of God Most High,” El Elyon. If he uses a different name for God, then how do we know his God was the same as ours? But Abram knew. El Elyon – Abram uses it too, beside God’s other name – The Name. Who is this man, and where did he come from? How did he know God? What was his relationship with the Lord like? And how did this man, mentioned so briefly in Genesis, become a whole order of priests-by-faith ordained by God rather than man or heredity?
I gave up my need to have all the answers a long time ago, so I won’t endeavor to answer what I do not know.
But this truth is here, plain-faced in Scripture: Melchizedek, whoever he was, wherever he came from, whatever he did next, loved the same God Abraham did, the same God who sent Jesus, Messiah, the same God we love today. He called Him El Elyon, the Most High God. The Best God, maybe. The Most Important God. The Ultimate God. The true God.
This is the account of the creation of the heavens and the earth. When [Yahweh Elohim] made the earth and the heavens, neither wild plants nor grains were growing on the earth. For [Yahweh Elohim] had not yet sent rain to water the earth, and there were no people to cultivate the soil.
Genesis 2:4-5
Yahweh Elohim: The LORD God
Yahweh is the name of God so revered the Jews would not even pen it fully. The Name of God is not to be used in vain, and to protect it from being so His chosen people would go to great lengths! They would write it in shorthand – something equivalent to Yhwh – because it was considered too holy to even be written out. It is the name “I Am,” the self-existent one, “The One Who was, Who is, and Who is to come.” It is the name I still wonder if I am wrong to spell fully (and I certainly mean to offend no one by doing so) or if I, too, in reverence should treat more carefully. Like calling a parent or a teacher by their first name, ought THE Name of God be reserved for those who are His equals?
But none are His equals, and it is His name. And if someone were to ask me whose daughter I am, I would give them my father’s name, though I call him “Dad” to his face. What I call God when I speak to Him and what I call God when I speak of Him may be likewise different. (?) But truth be told, I think God taught us His name because He wanted us to use it to call to Him. That sounds the most like something He would do.
Food for thought: in Genesis 1 as God is creating, He is called Elohim, but in Genesis 2 in which we see the whole story from a closer angle, He is called Yahweh Elohim. Is this to distinguish Him from all else – all else besides Him is created, but He is the self-existent Creator, the non-created among creation?
In the beginning, [Elohim] created the heavens and the earth.
Genesis 1:1
Elohim: God, the Creator
A writer friend of mine recently said, “I create because God creates.” I love that so much more than I can say. That we can imitate Him in creativity! That we can worship Him by creating!
I love it all the more because God created with words, and I love words. “God spoke” is scattered all over Genesis 1, and whatever God describes is. Fantasy writers use a term that has caught my fancy lately – they call their work “world building.” They, like God, build whole worlds out of words. Oh, to be blessed to imitate God in this way!
God is Creator, the World Builder. He is Elohim. ❤
Just recently, I began to feel prompted to return to an old prayer life habit I once had, long, long ago, in a land before children… 😉 Whenever I was anxious or stressed, I used to pray through this list I had of the Names of God. Well. I’m anxious. And I’m stressed! No time like the present.
The Bible study I’m a part of is studying Genesis right now. I decided to study it in a different version this time because I’ve been really enjoying the fresh set of eyes it gives me. Someone gave me a copy of the New Living Translation about a year ago, and I’m just loving it. ❤ This is what it brought out to me this week that I’d never seen before (just as I had begun to feel prompted to study this!): “At that time people first began to worship the LORD by name.” (Genesis 4:26b)
I think in the NIV, which is what I’ve mostly studied in the past, it says they first began to “call upon the Name of the Lord.” Which is all well and good, but it didn’t quite convey to me the same emphasis by name does. I was just thinking the other day how much respect we convey to someone when we know their name; it’s like saying, “You’re important. You’re important enough for me to remember your name.” And God – has a name. And not just one, no – He has many.
Like I was explaining to my daughter this morning, we all have many names, really. You might call me Carolyn, but my husband calls me Care. My parents call me Carrie, and my brother shouts “HEY CJ!” when I don’t answer to anything else (and I am gifted at tuning out!). My parents also call me by “my daughter,” my husband may say, “my wife,” my kids call me “Mom,” and my aunts and uncles call me “my niece.” Some define me. Some display relationship with me. They all describe me. They’re all mine.
God’s names are the same. They designate and describe and define Him, and they are one of many ways we can get to know who He really is. These are names people have called Him because of what He has done in their lives or what they have seen Him do in the world. His names are monuments by which to remember His actions (to remind us even that He is active!), which we humans too easily forget. They are handholds for us to grip Him by – He is vast, far vaster than any of His names, but they give us something we can hold onto.
I am going to spend 63 days (and have already started truth be told! This post is a little late) praying and studying the Names of God. I am going to journal it here, where I can come back to it and look at it again when I need to. You of course are welcome to join me! My posts will be short – maybe a paragraph or two – and focused exclusively on a single Name. Just a little seed of thought to water (meditate on) and allow to grow throughout the day. 🙂
And what’s a story like this without God inside and out? When I decided to do this, I thought I would stop at 30 days because that seemed a daunting enough commitment to me. BUT. God gently pointed out to me that I started exactly 9 weeks before Christmas. Studying 63 names. I don’t believe God does these sorts of things on accident. He knows I have loved Christmas, that it has often been a spiritually rich season for me as I meditate on His love, but these last few years have been dry. It’s like this – growing up, we always had live Christmas trees, the kind you have to water or they’ll dry up and drop their needles; well, my Christmases have been dropping their proverbial needles, and not because they’ve been any different than in years past but because I’ve been different – too busy. Unwatered. This year, God has put a full watering can in my hands and is nudging me toward the tree! I think He loves our Christmases together, too. ❤
So, all that to say I’ve given up my fear of committing and decided to dive into 63 days of worshipping God by name! 63 days of remembering who He is and why I have no need for worry. Who’s with me? 😀 Let’s go.
Then, turning to his disciples, Jesus said, “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food to eat or enough clothes to wear.For life is more than food, and your body more than clothing. Look at the ravens. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for God feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than any birds! Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And if worry can’t accomplish a little thing like that, what’s the use of worrying over bigger things?
I love the Psalms. Scripture is full of the external view of faith; what faith looks like on the outside, men and women who, in faith, see God part the Red Sea and raise their loved ones from the dead, who watch Jesus make water into wine and speak the seas into submission.
But the Psalms is a view of salvation, of faith, from inside a person. It is a written account of what it’s like, day to day, to experience the living, active God in the visceral world. It’s raw. No depth of despair, no venomous anger, no disappointment is left out. But the faith in the Psalms? It’s fierce.
Take this little Psalm – Psalm 13 – for example. It opens in a desperate cry from one who feels forgotten. Beaten. Out of time. Hopeless and anguished.
And it ends with this defiance: “I will sing to the LORD because he is good to me.”
That declaration of faith downright defies circumstance. It is stubborn and fierce and refuses to budge in the face of appearances and the subsequent flood of emotions. It holds firm to its hope and will not give it up. It knows that when all looks hopeless and lost, God isn’t.
God isn’t hopeless. God isn’t lost. God is good. And I trust Him.
Anxiety has rewritten who I am for most of my life. Most people do not know me as I am without it because all they have ever seen is the anxiety that clings to me like a staticky dress. It feels like that first moment you realize you have fallen and there is nothing to stop you before you hit the ground: your heart shoots sky high and a shock goes out from it all the way through your fingertips. And why? Who knows! Maybe because you caught someone’s eye. Maybe because you said, or you didn’t say, or you should have, or you should not have, or you might, or you might not – everything you do or might do all day long, be it wave to a neighbor or do a load of laundry or say “I do” to your own just-right. Or maybe you don’t know why, and trying to figure it out sets off the rest of the alarms in your head. Almost never have I ever lived through a major moment of my life without it clawing at my heart; the moment itself passes quickly, but I have lived it three ways. I have worried before, I have been anxious through, and I have scrutinized in agony every inch of it after – “I can’t believe I [fill in the blank].”
I have coped with my anxiety in so many ways; it’s like the wind that’s always blowing, and I am constantly turning this way and that way, first with it blowing in my face so I don’t have to eat my hair, and then with it at my back so I can open my eyes and so it won’t rip things out of my hands, and then to the side to see if I get the best or worst of both. Sometimes I stare straight into the things that make me anxious and run toward them, and other times I turn my back on dreams and loves and hopes because I just can’t stand it anymore. I have let things go, wonderful things, irreplaceable things, because I was simply too tired of battling. (If you are one of those things, I regret you most of all. Please know – when I ran away from moments with you, it was never because of you.) I have put my best days behind me, forgotten things on purpose, just to be rid of the clawing. Most days, I would just rather hide somewhere safe, somewhere out of the wind.
Oh yes. I know what anxiety is. Anxiety is that evil thing that takes all the most beautiful, most astounding, most profound and life-giving moments in life, big and small, and steals them, and stains them, and breaks them, and disfigures them beyond repair. It is a killjoy, the killjoy – the thief.
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy, but I have come that they might have life, and have it to the full.
John 10:10
I have battled anxiety in so many ways, and often, I have lost. But that is because I am foolish and forgetful; I have beaten it, really won, once or twice, and if I would remember, I do know how. I found it a long time ago, a secret that is painted on the sky every morning and night and sung by the birds all day long. The only weapon that beats the anxiety in me is worship.
Most Christians who hear the word “worship” think of singing a set of songs in church every Sunday, or perhaps singing those same songs at home or in their car throughout the week. Stick on some Hillsong and sing along, right?
To tell you the truth, I love to sing. My children can both attest – I stick on some Hillsong and I sing (and dance)(and grab them to dance) along enthusiastically. There can certainly be worship in song.
But I am going to meddle and challenge what we typically call worship, only because I mean to be precise. Plenty of the songs we call “worship” are profoundly self-focused, and it turns out, that’s pretty weak on the real worship. Real worship is utterly and helplessly selfless; it is so fixated on its Worshipped that there is simply no room to think of anything else.
Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.
Philippians 4:8
What is true? “Let God be true, and every man a liar.”(Romans 3:4) What is noble? “Why do you call me good? No one is good but God alone.” (Mark 10:18) What is right, and what is pure? “Can a mortal be more righteous than God? Can even a strong man be more pure than His Maker?” (Job 4:17) What is admirable? “Who among the gods is like you, Lord? Who is like you – majestic in holiness, awesome in glory, working wonders?” (Exodus 15:11) What is excellent or praiseworthy? “Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom.” (Psalm 145:3)
Think about God. Meditate on who He is, and forget, for a moment, about myself.
There it is. The Rock that breaks the constant wind of worry in my life. Sometimes, when I am wise, I choose to think it, to speak it, to write it, to sing it, to live it – the goodness of God. I hide inside the Rock and I find peace, calm.
From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the Rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe. I long to dwell in your house forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.
I have a bookmark that I got years ago with the names of God on it; God is called the Provider, the Almighty, the Master, the Creator, the Holy One, the Healer, the Redeemer, and many, many other names, and each of them tells us something about His character. I pull it out and read them and meditate on the Scriptures that call Him that. I pull out the Psalms and I read what others have said about Him. I look throughout my own life, and I remember times when He provided, or healed, or created, or mastered, or redeemed, and I worship Him for that.
“Count your blessings, name them one by one. Count your blessings, see what God has done!”
I take my eyes for however long it takes and turn them on Jesus, and like He did for Peter, He reaches out and takes hold of me.
When my eyes fix on the eternal – He who was, and is, and will be – the winds die down in awe of Him. Something quiet and still comes into me instead: “He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul.” (Psalm 23:2ish-3ish)
I am beginning to wonder if that’s why “worry” and “worship” start out the same; is one the world’s illness, the other the Healer’s cure?
God alone understands the human heart, and He alone can say for certain. But this I have read, that God encourages us to lean on Him for our courage as He did Joshua, and He commands us, again and again, to remember Him and to worship Him. Maybe, just maybe, He has a reason for that. Or many. 🙂
Anxiety is a condition more than it is an illness; it is chronic, and so to be effective, its cure must be habitual. What would my heart, what would my life look like, if I were in a habit of meditating on and worshipping the character of God instead of my own?
I don’t know exactly – but I think I would like to. There’s no time like the present for me; I am in the thick of it, losing again to that darn wind. Here’s to growing, and to peace! 🙂
Sow righteousness for yourselves, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; it is time to seek the Lord, until He comes and showers His righteousness on you.
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